I'm sorry to drop such a downer on you

My dear wife of more than 30 years has terminal brain and bone cancer and has been moved to a board and care facility.

I love her so much. She is everything to me. I can't imagine life without her.

I had originally not wanted to post about this because I (1) It was private and (2) I didn't want to be accused of playing the Munchausen by proxy card. Unfortunately, this is all too real.

I like you folks and I consider you my friends.

We are all your friends. It is hard to write this.

We all have seen death. Friends, parents, maybe children, maybe spouses or partners. It is inevitable: We all die, in the end. Some of us who are religious pray this never happen, but God's answer to that prayer is always: "No."

Now you have to be a mensch, not a golem. Make sure she has adequate pain meds. Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her. If I can't die peacefully in my sleep, that's how I want to go: With somebody who loves me by my side.

I've done that every day that we've been together.

Mr. Golem:

I lost my dear wife of 41 years together on March 4th of last year. I still have not recovered from that trauma, although I am doing better as time goes on. Yet I think about her daily. And miss her so much.

My thoughts are with you and they shall continue to be. I know that pain all too well.

Ken

I had to go out and hug my wife while she was trying to plug in the fryer.
Of course the reaction was textbook: "Why are you getting all huggy-squeezy when I'm trying to do something?"

Golem, nobody I know will ever know how to deal with this, so I am not even going to try. Not because I don't have some evergreen baloney to shovel but because I know the idea of it all is incomprehensible.

Just know this, your grief is shared, so are your fears and so is your agony, because any of us who have been blessed with a wonderful partner has thought about it, and we've been at a loss for how to deal with it.

My deepest sympathies Golem. Very sorry for what you have to go thru.

And know that we are with you.

Just saw this thread. So sorry for your wife and for you. Yes, we offer our love and are here for you.

Sorry to read about your wife's condition. My thoughts are with you Golem.

In life there is death and in death there is life.

May she find peace and you find comfort.

Live long and prosper

I'm feeling for you, Golem.

Ken, I am so sorry.

(I too am a Ken)

To all of you: Thank for for your well wishes. They mean a great deal to me.

Oh, Golem, I am so sorry.

My husband of 42 years checked into the hospital for tests near Thanksgiving in 2012. He seemed fine at first, but rapidly went downhill. He passed away on Christmas Eve.

I do know how you feel, and it's awful. The pain is a heavy weight, and the knowledge that, with time, it will slowly lighten, doesn't ease it a bit right now.

Your humor as lightened our hearts over the years. I wish I could lighten yours now.

Hang tough, guy. Hang tough.

Spag-hetti, I am so sorry for your loss.

As for hanging tough, I'm having a difficult time there. My wife has always been the strong one.

Hoping that you and your wife are doing well as can be expected.

My wife passed away yesterday. I was by her side.

I'm truly sorry, my friend.

Sorry

Deepest condolences

So sorry to hear this Golem.
My most sincere condolences go out to you and your family.

My deepest sympathies, Golem.

My wife and life companion of 42 years and myself are fighting the ailments of aging. Knock on wood no cancer yet, though we go on regular checkups. Friends have passed away in cancer, some fighting it to the bitter end, some just going quiet and passively accepting it.

So sorry, Ken.

“The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.” CS Lewis

Every life, from birth to death, is a great work of art.

Dear Golem, I only know that you're not far from me but no matter how far, please know that we send our prayers, mine along with all the rest of the Ranters.
Words are such puny things sometimes and even though we idle away the hours spinning them here, they fail me now, because I can't begin to imagine the burden and the journey.
I only know that the journey eventually has an end, and while the burden never goes away, you find a way to carry it better.
Your heart, though broken now and forever, will expand and make room for peace, friendship and renewed life and love. Right now we all stand alongside you.