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Joined: Jun 2004
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Rick, this is not specific to your brother - I would not comment on such a personal situation - but I am troubled by the idea that a father whose economic situation improves, would resent sharing his good fortune with his child. The resentment comes from this: It does not require $1300 for the father's HALF to raise a child. In theory, the mother is "contributing" the other HALF as well. There is no way that it takes $2600 month to raise one kid. I don't even spend that much on myself per month for Pete's sake!! ...so getting back to the resentment - we MEN know that the mother is pocketing a good portion of the money for HERSELF! rick, did you factor into your thinking the base costs, such as rent, utilities, etc? $2,600 for a family of 4 seems way below the poverty level.
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
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rick, did you factor into your thinking the base costs, such as rent, utilities, etc? $2,600 for a family of 4 seems way below the poverty level. In theory, my example was for one kid and one mother. Why should the ex husband have to "pay" for his ex-wife's existence? $2600.00 is plenty way more than enough for one kid. If she needs to live, she needs to go out and work.
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Just a few notes: It does not require $1300 for the father's HALF to raise a child. In theory, the mother is "contributing" the other HALF as well. "In theory," the custodial parent is contributing a great deal of value in time and labor. Here in California, child support never goes away - there is no statute of limitation on collecting child support. If the full amount is not sent, interest is added, and the amount keeps going up and up 'til the full amount is eventually paid. I am not aware of any unpaid debt that is forgiven simply due to the passage of time. If support is not paid for a 15-year-old child, it can still be collected when the child is 25, I believe -- and my understanding is that, in those circumstances, it can be paid directly to the now-grown child. BUT - that's hearsay; I have not been in that situation.
Julia
A 45’s quicker than 409
Betty’s cleaning’ house for the very last time
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It does not require $1300 for the father's HALF to raise a child. In theory, the mother is "contributing" the other HALF as well. "In theory," the custodial parent is contributing a great deal of value in time and labor. I totally agree. Here in California, child support never goes away - there is no statute of limitation on collecting child support. If the full amount is not sent, interest is added, and the amount keeps going up and up 'til the full amount is eventually paid. I am not aware of any unpaid debt that is forgiven simply due to the passage of time. If support is not paid for a 15-year-old child, it can still be collected when the child is 25, I believe -- You are 100% correct. ...my understanding is thatin those circumstances, it can be paid directly to the now-grown child. BUT - that's hearsay; I have not been in that situation. No. It goes to the MOTHER - not the kid. (...and don't forget the interest)
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There's a lawyer show that I listen to from noon - 12:45 M/F in the car - child support always comes up and that's where I get my LEGAL information.
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Rick as you know, child support is based in part on the incomes of both parties, so what "it costs to raise a child" is NOT a factor except as a minimum amount. For example, Bill Gates would pay much more than you or I not because it costs more for his child but because he can afford it.
When it comes to figuring in costs, rent has to be paid and a portion of that rent is attributable to the child, as are other base line costs.
Your rage is common among some men but unusual from a gay man without children. Seems to me you have bought into another man's resentments.
As you often tell us, don't have kids if you don't want to pay for them. This is just the cost of having them.
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
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Your rage is common among some men but unusual from a gay man without children. Seems to me you have bought into another man's resentments. I live vicariously thru other's experiences - since I don't have many of my own. I'm a sponge in that regard.  As you often tell us, don't have kids if you don't want to pay for them. This is just the cost of having them. Very true. I often hear from men who express regret of having children when they find themselves divorced and separated from their kids.
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Which brings to this point:
What to really preserve the sanctity of marriage - outlaw divorce.
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Maybe you should call up Pope Benedict - you could have coffee and talk it over. Although to be fair - the Catholic Church doesn't forbid divorce; it forbids remarriage -- so they're not as strict as you, Rick .
Julia
A 45’s quicker than 409
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Betty’s bein’ bad
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I live in Calif.Went through a divorce in 98 My kid was 6.My ex moved back east.I at the time had no idea about visitation.In other words I had not established it with the court.As far as the court new I did not want to spend time with my kid.Based on my income I paid $1400.00 per month.Plus my kid spent the summers with me.I paid her air fare,Summer camp,you name it.Some summers I would take weeks off to spend time with her.Big cost.Then I found out if I had visitation my child support would go down.I filed with the courts for visitation and got 3 months a year.My child support went down to $900.00 a month.Then in 04 work had slowed down so I went to court to have child support reduced.Found out I was paying to much at $900.00 a month.My child support went to $550.00 per month.At that point her mother didn't want her back at the end of summer 04.So I went back to court and got my kid.Then when I took her mother to court for child support the court ruled that because she did not work she didn't have to pay.Now with all that said it cost me about $50,000 in att fees.Im glad I did what I did.Because now no one can say that I didn,t do what I needed to do.My kid is now 17 I have been divorced for 10 years now and am still dealing with this women.So put that in your pipe and smoke it.But I'll tell you what the best day in my life was when m I got divorced .
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