To All,

My sincerest apologies. I was - quite clearly - drunk last night, for the first time in over a month or two. Watching the Prop 8 documentary was like reliving Election night 2008 but this time all my, seemingly paranoid, thoughts about the Mormon church, their anti-gay stance and hatred were confirmed. I think the reaction of one family whose son had taken his own life because he couldn't change pushed me over the edge. I wasn't aware that the suicide rate in Utah was the highest in the Country or that it is disportionately higher among gay LDS teens. The gay Mormon kids that talked about their own attempts broke my heart.

I'm not about to get all Gay Panther over this, it's not really my style. But the anger and frustration that I didn't even realize I suppressed, surfaced last night. Oddly, in a week where a judge ruled in our favor. I had been reading ignorant and uninformed opinions from pro Prop 8 people talking about the "faggot judge" clearly ruling in his own self interest. That was something I wasn't completely expecting because I had actually followed the case and knew that had nothing to do with the outcome.

I feel like I keep expecting better and I keep getting worse. It's not an excuse, but my recent birthday has me obsessing about these things even more. I know I'm not old but I'm not young either. Birthdays reinforce mortality and I was feeling particularly mortal last night.

The Absolut has been pushed to the back of the freezer

Someone needs to do a Public Service Announcement about drinking and posting.

We are constantly invited to be who we are. Henry David Thoreau