Nine Thoughts to Ponder

Number 9-
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8-
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7-
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6-
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them
apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5-
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4-
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3-
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2-
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1-
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
...and as someone recently said to me:

Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.

milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.