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Dec 6th, 2017
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133 |
How do they keep so straight-faced?? 
You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
How do they keep so straight-faced?? I know what you mean! 
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191
Moderator Carpal Tunnel
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Moderator Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191 |
Saying for today: Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, you'll never see him again.
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.
Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134 |
The most recent mass murder in the South Carolina church is receiving some comments that just are weird. The fundamental truth is that one person used apparently legal weapons to shoot and kill 9 defenseless humans.
That they were black humans is critical to an understanding of where this event fits into the American gestalt. it is tragic that he, from his own words, chose the victims based upon their race. The tragedy is that the color of one's skin or the location in which they were born is still so important to so many people.
The genesis of this traces to the fact that most of us barely recognize the humanity of other humans. Killing is at the extreme edge of this, but the day to day way in which we treat each other as objects and labels is a tragedy that transcends and causes tragedies such as this shooting.
I grew up in an unusual family. My mother's father was "black", the rest of my grandparents "white". It just did not occur to me that they were anything but my grandparents, with all the ups and downs and eccentricities that humans carry around.
I hope that religious leaders of all stripes and faiths begin to get serious about bringing us all together, bringing out the humanity in each of us, and bonding us together to help one another in every way.
It might be time for everyone to turn off your television, listen to your heart and not your head, find the connections among us and especially give up the right to hate anyone.
We are one living inside the illusion of being separate.
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Saying for today: Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, you'll never see him again. 
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
The most recent mass murder in the South Carolina church is receiving some comments that just are weird. The fundamental truth is that one person used apparently legal weapons to shoot and kill 9 defenseless humans.
That they were black humans is critical to an understanding of where this event fits into the American gestalt. it is tragic that he, from his own words, chose the victims based upon their race. The tragedy is that the color of one's skin or the location in which they were born is still so important to so many people.
The genesis of this traces to the fact that most of us barely recognize the humanity of other humans. Killing is at the extreme edge of this, but the day to day way in which we treat each other as objects and labels is a tragedy that transcends and causes tragedies such as this shooting.
I grew up in an unusual family. My mother's father was "black", the rest of my grandparents "white". It just did not occur to me that they were anything but my grandparents, with all the ups and downs and eccentricities that humans carry around.
I hope that religious leaders of all stripes and faiths begin to get serious about bringing us all together, bringing out the humanity in each of us, and bonding us together to help one another in every way.
It might be time for everyone to turn off your television, listen to your heart and not your head, find the connections among us and especially give up the right to hate anyone.
We are one living inside the illusion of being separate.  Yep, we are all just human beings. One species. Sadly, some of us seem bent on destroying ourselves, and everything else with it.
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
GIVING UP WINE
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said.
'I must spend my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you to dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for that. I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
looks like after she gives up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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![[Linked Image from s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ae/09/46/ae09460faca593371638168d37ae7fbb.jpg)
![[Linked Image from 40.media.tumblr.com]](http://40.media.tumblr.com/af2b35b5b0f5992e63cd420931c88fa6/tumblr_nchjh6lXb01tp42tfo1_500.jpg)
