|
0 members (),
12
guests, and
1
robot. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums59
Topics17,128
Posts314,538
Members6,305
| |
Most Online294
Dec 6th, 2017
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
|
OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is
over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community?.
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying
after a long painful illness, and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the rep mumbles, 'Uh... No, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind and confined to a
wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving
her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning
disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373
Member CHB-OG
|
|
Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373 |
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Never again will Fox viewers ever see their Beloved on the telescreen, except for whenever she wants to show up as a non-contracted guest, which will probably be about as often as she actually “worked” for the network after it brought her back the second time. Sarah will now work on new publishing project. Oh, please let it be children’s books! Those don’t have too many words, do they? And mostly small ones, right? 
Contrarian, extraordinaire
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373
Member CHB-OG
|
|
Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373 |
Judge: STOP WASTING OUR TIME, you weird, homophobic dickface. In his ruling Monday, June 22, Sacramento Superior Court Judge Raymond M. Cadei said that Orange County-based attorney Matthew McLaughlin’s “Sodomite Suppression Act” is “patently unconstitutional on its face” and “any preparation and official issuance of a circulating title and summary for the act by the attorney general would be inappropriate, waste public resources, generate unnecessary divisions among the public and tend to mislead the electorate.”
“The attorney general is relieved of any obligation to issue a title and summary for the act,” Cadei said. “Orange County based-attorney” says it all.  A lot of California conservatives are descendants of dust bowl refugees from Kansas. 
Contrarian, extraordinaire
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
|
|
OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Never again will Fox viewers ever see their Beloved on the telescreen, except for whenever she wants to show up as a non-contracted guest, which will probably be about as often as she actually “worked” for the network after it brought her back the second time. Sarah will now work on new publishing project. Oh, please let it be children’s books! Those don’t have too many words, do they? And mostly small ones, right? No, not children's books. We don't need her poisoning their minds! let her write political tomes that no one reads(like her last book).
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373
Member CHB-OG
|
|
Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373 |
Bristol preggers again! At the end of the day there’s nothing I can’t do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace.
- Bristol Palin Bristol goes on to say: "Indeed, I can handle ANYTHING. But, honey, you gotta bring it closer to my lips, and it's gotta be big." h/t Tori Amos
Contrarian, extraordinaire
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373
Member CHB-OG
|
|
Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373 |
Mystery solved! Now we know why that wedding was called off. It's amazing that Bristol was screwing around with someone else on the brink of her marriage.
Those sure are some Conservative Family Values!
Next on TLC: Bristol Palin in Two Baby Daddy and Counting
Contrarian, extraordinaire
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180 |
More joyful news for Liberals everywhere!
Good coffee, good weed, and time on my hands...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373
Member CHB-OG
|
|
Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,430 Likes: 373 |
More joyful news for Liberals everywhere! Indeed! Victory is awesome. 
Contrarian, extraordinaire
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191
Moderator Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Moderator Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191 |
The juxtaposition of Bristol Palin's pregnancy and the SC gay marriage decision is karmically hilarious. Almost makes me believe in a goddess.
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.
Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
|
|
OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
*Stay Off Your Bicycle*
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either.
If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist said, "Well, stay off your bicycle for at least a week."
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
|
|
|
|
|
