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Dec 6th, 2017
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Just as I suspected!  47-year-old Billy Jo Ray from DeQuincy, Louisiana who owns an AK47 and weighs 425 lbs said he does not agree with the study. “I don’t give a go*damn what these fact checkin’, fancy scientists think. My one-half inch johnson satisfies all the ladies in town. I’ve never heard any complaints from my cousins once.” ![[Linked Image from s1.postimg.org]](http://s1.postimg.org/lb3xuhrq7/small_penis.jpg) Bwahahahaha!
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Meet Walter Barnes - All golfers should live so long as to become this kind of old man! Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes. "Mr Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly."Mr Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands."Oh, Mr Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years
and not have an enemy in the world?" The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply,
"I outlived all the bastards" - and he calmly returned to his seat.
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,
but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The WOMEN WON.
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,388
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,388 |
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems,
but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The WOMEN WON.
"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce
"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180 |
It's a shame we don't have a "Like" button like Facebook has. So many things roll through here that I'd like to be able to give a quick thumbs up to but sometimes pages go by and a comment just seems irrelevant.
Good coffee, good weed, and time on my hands...
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133 |
It's a shame we don't have a "Like" button like Facebook has. So many things roll through here that I'd like to be able to give a quick thumbs up to but sometimes pages go by and a comment just seems irrelevant. 
You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 19,831 Likes: 180 |
Close, but no cigar. It still requires a quote and a reply box.
Good coffee, good weed, and time on my hands...
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12,004 Likes: 133 |
It was a very inefficient thumbs up...
You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.
R. Buckminster Fuller
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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OP
Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 27,583 |
Happy Birthday, Phil Hoskins!!!
milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)
Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.
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![[Linked Image from giantgag.net]](http://giantgag.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/funny-bacon-bits-01.jpg)
![[Linked Image from eclipse2017.org]](http://www.eclipse2017.org/2017/graphics/birthday-1.jpg)