85-year-old Biker Bob was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. ’

The next day Bob reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the old biker explained, 'Well you see, doc, it’s like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my old lady for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Sally, the Gal next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’ The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

Bob replied, 'Yep, none of us could get that damn jar open.

milk and Girl Scout cookies ;-)

Save your breath-You may need it to blow up your date.