Capitol Hill Blue Forums Political Issues Campaign 2016

TULSA, Okla. — Republican Senator James Inhofe spoke out today against the scientific theory of gravity and what he called “secular extremists taking God out physics,” calling for an investigation into the infiltration of “pagan gravitationists” within the Federal Government.

“These people hate God, and are forcing their radical, non-Christian views on your children!” Warned Inhofe at a hastily-called press conference at the First Evangelical Church of Jesus Christ Our Savior. “This so-called ‘theory of gravity’ is nothing less than the second greatest hoax scientists have ever pulled on the good people of Oklahoma. The first, of course, being global warming. Or evolution. I forget which.”
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With Senator Inhofe at the press conference was Gus Hornsby, family man, farmer, and part-time pastor at the newly-formed Church Of The Unholy Inhale in nearby Sapulpa, Oklahoma. “Scientists want to teach your children that gravity is nothing more than two particles of matter attracting one another with a force directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them!” he cried out, grabbing the microphone out of Inhofe’s hands. “That’s a load of horsepucky! The Good Book teaches us that we remain glued to the Earth’s surface because Satan is forever sucking in his breath, pulling us closer and closer to the fires of Hell below. It is only by the grace of God that He chose to cover the molten core of Earth with a crust, thereby creating a layer of salvation between His children and eternal damnation.”

Hornsby then launched into a sermon damning basements, below-ground swimming pools, and deep, open pits while Inhofe smiled and nodded.

The presidential debates are generally considered the last big opportunity to move voters before the election. They offer rare moments for Americans to do some head-to-head comparison shopping between two candidates on the same stage discussing the issues.

And yet, according to the numbers, the debates have done little to change the fundamental structure of recent presidential races. Looking at pre-debate NBC News/Wall Street Journal presidential polls and the final election results since 1992, there is only one campaign where the debate may have made a serious difference — 2000.

In every other case, the candidate that led going into the debates wound up winning on Election Day.

Voter satisfaction with the choice of presidential candidates, already at a two-decade low, has declined even further. A new survey finds that just a third of registered voters say they are very or fairly satisfied with the choices, while 63% say they are not too or not at all satisfied. That represents a 7-percentage-point drop since June in the share of voters expressing satisfaction with their candidate choices.

OTOH .... we could cooperate with each other and work as a collective and try to ensure the survival of the species