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Dec 6th, 2017
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
I'm sorry to drop such a downer on you
My dear wife of more than 30 years has terminal brain and bone cancer and has been moved to a board and care facility.
I love her so much. She is everything to me. I can't imagine life without her.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
I had originally not wanted to post about this because I (1) It was private and (2) I didn't want to be accused of playing the Munchausen by proxy card. Unfortunately, this is all too real.
I like you folks and I consider you my friends.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,129 Likes: 257
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,129 Likes: 257 |
We are all your friends. It is hard to write this.
We all have seen death. Friends, parents, maybe children, maybe spouses or partners. It is inevitable: We all die, in the end. Some of us who are religious pray this never happen, but God's answer to that prayer is always: "No."
Now you have to be a mensch, not a golem. Make sure she has adequate pain meds. Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her. If I can't die peacefully in my sleep, that's how I want to go: With somebody who loves me by my side.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
enthusiast
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OP
enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
Tell her you love her everyday, several times a day. Hold her hand. Kiss her. I've done that every day that we've been together.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,245 Likes: 33
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,245 Likes: 33 |
Mr. Golem:
I lost my dear wife of 41 years together on March 4th of last year. I still have not recovered from that trauma, although I am doing better as time goes on. Yet I think about her daily. And miss her so much.
My thoughts are with you and they shall continue to be. I know that pain all too well.
Ken
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,165 Likes: 253
It's the Despair Quotient! Carpal Tunnel
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It's the Despair Quotient! Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,165 Likes: 253 |
I had to go out and hug my wife while she was trying to plug in the fryer.
Of course the reaction was textbook: "Why are you getting all huggy-squeezy when I'm trying to do something?"
Golem, nobody I know will ever know how to deal with this, so I am not even going to try. Not because I don't have some evergreen baloney to shovel but because I know the idea of it all is incomprehensible.
Just know this, your grief is shared, so are your fears and so is your agony, because any of us who have been blessed with a wonderful partner has thought about it, and we've been at a loss for how to deal with it.
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD
deepfreezefilms.com
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,203 Likes: 3
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,203 Likes: 3 |
My deepest sympathies Golem. Very sorry for what you have to go thru.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191
Moderator Carpal Tunnel
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Moderator Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 18,003 Likes: 191 |
And know that we are with you.
A well reasoned argument is like a diamond: impervious to corruption and crystal clear - and infinitely rarer.
Here, as elsewhere, people are outraged at what feels like a rigged game -- an economy that won't respond, a democracy that won't listen, and a financial sector that holds all the cards. - Robert Reich
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134
Administrator Bionic Scribe
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Administrator Bionic Scribe
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 21,134 |
Just saw this thread. So sorry for your wife and for you. Yes, we offer our love and are here for you.
Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,401 Likes: 371
Member CHB-OG
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Member CHB-OG
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 47,401 Likes: 371 |
Sorry to read about your wife's condition. My thoughts are with you Golem. 
Contrarian, extraordinaire
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