Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues Issues of Aging Retired ? Is it what you thought it would be?

I've got afferent peripheral neuropathy, too. Fancy name for numb feet. Mine actually feel like I'm wearing thick socks up to mid-shins. Has advantages when you stub your toe. Big disadvantage is that I can't tell what position my feet are in so I get leg cramps that wake me up some mornings. It isn't supposed to be a symptom of MS, according to my neurologist, but what is it then? Doesn't really bother me much, but it makes long walks and standing for a long time impractical. It also gets me disabled plates for my car. Magnesium and little weed seem to help.

It's complex, in that it has a lot of steps. Checklists help, so you don't forget anything. My main rule has been to just read the will and trust, and do what it says. Fortunately, in all cases, there have been pretty complete documents written by lawyers so a lay person could understand them.

Unfortunately, in all cases, the surviving spouse has done things that did not follow what was in the trust. I see my job as ignoring that and doing what is fair in terms of the original intent of the trust. Nobody has sued so far, so I guess the beneficiaries are happy with the result. Helps that I don't pay myself, which is no big deal because I have always been one of the beneficiaries.

Not so much for the other beneficiaries. I actually had one who "cleaned" (aka "looted") his dead sister's house including tossing her will in the trash before her lawyer got there! Fortunately the lawyer found it in the trash can.

Yea, that is when you find out who the familial cockroaches are. Our solution, every beneficiary has a copy of the current wills and Lady Bird Deed.

A special Howdy to all the returnees. I'm sort of a Nug here, though I have been a lurker since around Dec 2000.

By RR/Retiree standards it seems I am still a kid I qualify for AARP, but can't get discount tickets to the movies.

I'm still licensed to practice law, but my standard response to anyone who asks is that I am doing my best to stay retired. Since I have no clients (at present), I don't maintain insurance or trust accounts that I would have to if I were running a practice and taking "retainers". I will probably voluntarily resign before I have to report again in 3 years' time. In the meantime I give free (pro bono) advice, and referrals to other attorneys, but I am seriously contemplating jumping back in to work for the ACLU, or immigrant rights. I would have to do more training (where will I find the time), but a worthy cause is a worthy cause.

But, given all the discussion of estates, I have a story about my dad. When he was a relatively new attorney, his uncle died. The family insisted that he probate/administer the estate. He didn't want to because it was not his bailiwick, but the family was insistent. He did a very meticulous job (he always did), and scrupulously followed the appropriate process, but, as happens with family sometimes, he was criticized by some members who didn't think his distribution was "fair" (obviously because they didn't get more than others). That segment of the family never got over it. He didn't either, and never administered another estate.

Ponderer, I share the same status as you when it comes to age. Because I left work with a mental disability, I'm really not anxious to tell my cousins and cousins-once-removed why I'm not working.

But if I tell people I've retired, people think I'm financially much better off than I am. (59)

The conversation usually comes up on the sidewalk in front if the church after a funeral.

I've started telling people I had the chance to trade money for time and I took it.

I just wish my eyesight, hearing, knees and ankles had held out just a little while longer. I was hoping to still be humping around camera gear as a spry seventy-year old at least part time.

My health just wouldn't cooperate. The other day I went to move all my equipment cases from one side of the garage to the other so I could better access the water heater. By the time I got all the cases down on the floor I had to take a breather for ten minutes, and my right knee was talking to me big time.

The husband of my niece is currently "borrowing" almost ALL my lighting gear collection, which was actually fairly considerable. At this point I really can't imagine ever needing to use them again, but letting them go permanently just doesn't feel right.

Of course he's extremely hunky and talented (no wonder my niece fell in love with him) and he's working with some talented crew so maybe his project will make a big chunk of coin. If it does, I'm sticking my hand out and expecting some back end action on top of my end credit.

I think the word you want is “vig.”

... or "us".

Vigorous...

Guess I need to go back over to the "what the hell is going on inside your head" thread.

I am in the process of acknowledging things I can't do anymore, but there are some things that my 27-year-old son insists I can't do, that I don't think are prohibited, and that irks me. He made me promise not to go on the roof, for example. He's afraid I'll fall off the ladder. I am, however, at the age where I should consult my doctor before starting a new exercise program...

I went through my camera gear myself about a month ago. I can't believe how much I have! I leant an entire kit to my other son's friend. (I wanted to say boyfriend, but he's trans and prefers the pronoun "They"... SO, I don't know how to describe their relationship.) I couldn't believe how heavy that kit was! I used to lug that thing around everywhere! Anyway, they are taking an art class that will include photography/film next semester, so they want to get a jump on learning how to use it. I can't resist being helpful.

My wife's idea of being helpful, however, is giving things away - My things. Already this week she has given away one of my filing cabinets (the contents of which are now in a box cluttering up my office - how "helpful"), and an electric scooter I just refurbished. My son wants me to get rid of some of my guitars because they take up too much room (although he won't let me put his unused furniture in storage because "it will get yucky", so it currently takes up most of the recreation room and we can't get the ping pong table out!). I'll be hauling stuff out of the garage today to make some space - that's my own project. Ironically, most of the stuff being hauled isn't mine. Funny how that works...

Why is it, I wonder, that the burden (emotionally and physically) of "downsizing" falls on me?

I just filled a storage locker with all of my mom's stuff so we could sell the house. I think it was six years ago she moved into an assisted living apartment, and left the house behind. She took all the really good stuff, so this was second-string. But she still wants a dozen chairs, two china cabinets (besides the two that actually fit into her apartment, three sets of china, on and on. Four big boxes of custom Christmas tree decorations she will never see again and nobody wants. 100 square feet about 10 feet tall, and that sucker is packed tight. We pay $100 per month so she still "has" stuff she can never use and never even see! But it's her's damnit, so she's going to keep it.

We actually filled a 40 foot dumpster in the process!