God sent Donald Trump to prepare the church for the End Times.

He is The Chosen One. And I'm not making this shite up either. These are the same folks who burned witches y'know. They welcome a chance to proclaim the end of time and the second cumming and whatnot so Global Climate Disaster fits right into their little playbook.

But it's not too much CO2! It's too much sin! And their wrathful god is about to start kicking ass and taking names with Donald John Trump leading the way. And everybody knows that sin is concentrated in coastal regions. Rising sea levels alone should tell you that. Fires and hurricanes, it's all Republican prayers being answered.

Good coffee, good weed, and time on my hands...