I don't understand the American fixation on toilet paper. I think it all has to do with our toilet training. We learned to use TP, and therefor anything else is unthinkable. Some would rather just burst their colon than do it without TP.

News, folks: Most of the human race does not have any TP. And they manage just fine. We used to: Remember the old timers talking about the Sears catalog nailed to the outhouse wall? You got reading material AND hygiene, all in one. Do you have a newspaper subscription? Is there a shower right next to the toilet?