Capitol Hill Blue Forums Misc. Topics History Roundtable Whose kid is it, anyway?

That's not at all true. There are many documented cases in which a married woman had a child, later they divorced, and her ex-husband used a paternity test to show that he was not the bio-dad. Courts say: "TS, buddy. We assume every child born to a married woman is her husband's kid, no matter what a paternity test shows."

Pondering, I had no idea. Oddly, that’s one of the scenarios I sketched out in a post I think I deleted, and one of the original questions I intended for this thread. It looks to me as though the court used a sort of “common-law” fatherhood idea.

Frankly, my own personal reaction is, what kind of arsehole would attempt to abandon a child in his family simply due to genetics. Leave the wife, maybe, but divorce the child??

Rick - the story you bring to light astonishes me, and to a large extent sickens me. There is some twisted stuff going on here. I’m surprised it ever got to court the first place.

Okay, Rick, it took a while but I thinkI know what my reaction to this case is - bearing in mind that two short articles clearly can’t involve the facts. This is purely personal, no basis other than that.

She had the right to use the sperm as she wanted to/did, creepy as it was. He clearly was…um…finished with it. However, as she went to extremes to create the pregnancy on her own, without consent, he should not be held to any financial or other responsibilities.

Both parents should pay very high fees as court costs into a trust fund for lifetime therapy costs for the child.

As I said, I have to believe there is more to the story, and I know I don’t want to know what it is,

Yeah...no kidding! By now the kid should be 19 years old and has Googled itself.

Pondering is right...there are many cases like this. The Court's rational is that the kid grew-up believing the guy is the dad - even the dad thought he was the dad and to change course now would be like pulling the rug from under the kid...and too bad - the kid's well-being is more important here.


This is why there are now law firms specializing in Divorce for Men Only.

Rick, are you saying it should be okay to leave your kid if you find out s/he is not yours genetically, and that divorce lawyers for men might level the divorce-court playing field?

Trying to make sure I understand what you’re saying.

Yes, in theory, you should be able to leave the kid.

Is it a good idea from a moral, emotionally healthy perspective? Everyone is different and every situation is different, and folks should be able to make that decision for themselves, and not have court force a decision onto them.

I don’t think I can go there. Walk away from your kid, maybe, but not from the responsibility for the child’s welfare, not legally..

For me, the financial responsibility if it turned out I was not the father would hinge on me and the kid's relationship: Good, I'll stay. Bad, I'll absolutely walk-away

Now we’ve circled back to the beginning of this thread: what is paternity? Is it a financial or social relationship to a child? Is it a genetic relationship?

Is it a legal definition, as a name on a birth certificate, guardianship, adoption certificate, or genetic test?

Once paternity is acknowledged, should a father be able to abandon their responsibility simply by walking away, making no arrangements for the child’s welfare (as the mother would have to do for a child, or be subject to prosecution?

I have to go look something up so I’ll post this before I lose it. As if there was any doubt, I’ll be back.