h/t Peterr

In the far-away land of Mar-A-Lago
sits a once-vaunted leader, now brought very low.
His voice, once ubiquitous, lordly, and loud
has become but a whimper, no longer so proud.
The cameras have vanished, the crowds have all shrunk,
as he scrambles for donors, this has-been, fallen punk.

And then come his lawyers, with news of a guest,
A visit unlooked for, unwelcomed, unblessed.

“You must return those stolen docs.
You must return them, yes, every box.”


“I do not have a box of docs,
and they are mine, you lying fox.”

But then they came and then they found
docs aplenty. . .

One doc, two docs
red docs, blue docs
Docs TOPSECRET/SCI
Docs with pictures from on high
Docs with covers, docs with stamps,
Docs in files marked “terror camps”
Docs from spies and docs from techs
Docs ’bout planes on navy decks
Docs on armies, docs on friends
Docs on missiles, docs on end!

“There’s only one president at-a-time, you see,
and you are not it, quite obviously.
You’ve filed lots of lawsuits and lost every one
and Biden, not you, is the one who has won.


The law is quite clear: these docs are ours.
You have no magic, no pixie dust powers.
You cannot claim them, nor take them home,
they belong to us, not you alone.
You must return those stolen docs.
You must return them, yes, every box.

We’ll come to you, or you to us.
You can return them on a bus.
You can return them on a train.
You can return them on a plane.
You can return them at your house.
You can return them with a mouse.
You must return those stolen docs.
You must return them, yes, every box.”


“But I want them, because they are mine!
and you cannot have them – don’t cross that line!”

“Boxes of documents, boxes of pics,
Boxes of letters – be sure there’re no tricks!
We’ll carefully pack them and give you a list
(It *will* be redacted, but we’ll give you the gist)
We’ll guard them as well as the law says we must.
We’ll guard them much better than you have, we trust.

For crimes have been crimed, as we have deducted:
espionage, theft, and justice obstructed.
The proof, we believe, will emerge box by box
from rooms where you’ve kept them without any locks.
The charges will follow, and names will be named
and soon the guilty in court will be blamed."


Contrarian, extraordinaire