Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues Issues of Aging Memory Loss

A follow-up on my previous post. I had my annual physical with my VA doctor, Monday. I asked about the memory issue, and got a referral to mental health. I was on my way home when the MH doc called and asked where I was...

Turns out he had an immediate opening, would I mind coming back? So, I immediately went back. His office was one hallway over from my primary doc.

We had a pleasant session, he took an assessment (ironically, the same one that Trump took, and I confirmed that Trump lied about his results). He assured me that I was doing fine and had no deficits (noting, for example, that I named twice as many animals as was "normal"), which made me feel a lot better.

I have his card and an intention to see him again regarding sleep deprivation and generalized anxiety.

Its now been over two years that I wrote the above. On Dec 28 I am off to the office of Cognitive Issues via the VA. The memory just gets worse and worse. I haven't forgotten the names of my kids, yet, but I can see it coming.

Its interesting. A few months ago I was having a problem with breathing. I went to Outpatient at the Hospital. It went like this. The nurse set me down and started to do a blood pressure test. About 5 minutes in she said; "I'll be back in just about a minute". A couple minutes she came back and said; "I have a wheel chair outside the door. I want you in that chair right now and then you are the way to the emergency room". Seems my heart was going at the incredible speed of 16 per minute. Now its never less than 60.

I was in the emergency room for about 10 minutes before they had an Ambulance. I got a ride down to St Michaels (85mph) around Paulsbo forget the name of the town (and, pretty much, everything else) where they planted something into me (forget what its called, a "heart" something). I am fine now and my heart continues working. It is, I suspect, part of being old.

I have also noted that, when they were peering at me, and asking questions to prove I was alive, etc. I just didn't care. I could listen to them talking and, apparently, I was pretty close to dying and what really amazed me is that I just didn't care! THAT kinda woke me up (then I went back to sleep).

Just thought I would throw that one in.

When I had my heart attack --- same here, I knew I was in deep trouble but a part of me just acted like "Oh well, another day at the office" and I refused to get worked up, even after I saw what my face looked like after it got used to smash the metal dog crate as I fell down.

Its only been a year since I last wrote here. In that year I have had a heart attack and an implant. I also now have speech aphasia (cannot speak a word I know). Basically, things are not getting better and I'm kinda on my way. I have been told that learning to play a musical instrument might help and I'm considering that Irish drum which is pretty neat. I m also taking lession in spanish as that too might help. So far nothing helps and it just keeps on going.

I also do exercises, every morning. I spend an half an hour on a machine that is supposed to be like hiking through the snow. After that I lift a 10lb weight something like 60 times for each arm (means I lift something like 3 tons every week). I have been told that I am in pretty good shape (which may, or may not be true).

My ability to pay attention to something specific over time is mud. My memory is really not all that bad although I do forget stuff. My wife has moved on to trying to mother me which I have seriously fought. She worries when I drive although she is the one that gets tickets and I think I drive just fine. In about 2 weeks I will be 89 years old. All my friends, and my wife now will help me say a word I can't speak with no problem. Its was kinda embarrassing but OK. For instance, I am standing in front of a door and I carrying stuff and can't open the door and can't say the word "door". What I do is say something like; "I need somebody to open that thing in front of me" and somebody will say; "door" and then open it for me. That's become so standard its just the way it is.

I also have COPD dementia (which includes Cognitive impairment) One good thing is that I now understand what 'dementia' means) Apparently I don't have Altzheimers (I have a VA shrink and he told me that I was unlikely to get Altzheimers. I thought I already had it but all of this stuff herein is not, apparently, Altzheimers) None of this stuff is fun but when you consider the alternative .............

Now all this stuff will seem, to many, as a personal hell. On my side I have come to accept what is going on because there is, really, very little one can do to change anything. Hopefully, if anybody old reads this and its just beginning for them it might give them some thought about what is going on instead of the age old solutions of thinking about suicide. It really isn't all that bad as, after a while, one becomes used to whatever.

I get all the help I need and I have both the local hospital and the VA to help me should I need it. I am not rich but I pay all my bills and I have no debt. So, basically, I am fine with problems which are really all that bad (I'm still walking and driving).

I have been living long enough to see a pile of stuff get fixed (I would remind that there is stuff getting fixed EVERY DAY!!). There was the one where you spent the rest of your life in a big, steel, breathing machine. My father died a blind man - I got the same disease (macular degeneration, which seems to run in families. Apparently my two sisters have the beginning) and my retinal doctors cured me (they only stuck needles into an eye a few times). There are all those diseases that I got shots for when I was young (and still get them). When I went to a doctor about being kinda dizzy and they found out my heart was almost working, 16 times a minute, they had me on a table two days later, in another city (Silverdale, where they had St Michael's), fixing my heart and implanting a defibrillator (and learned how they count - "01, 02, 03, 04, 05" etc. When I goto a doctor the first thing I ask if if they have the pill yet, as I assume that there is a lot of work being done on all this stuff I have mentioned, and I have kindofa hope that somebody will figure out how to fix this and that. Even if I don't it helps.

This was kinda interesting to write. I think that it might have actually helped me (I had no idea I would go on so long - apologies) and, hopefully, it wasn't a whining too much.

You're giving me hope, because I'm starting to see signs of COPD cognitive impairment and I am worried about how bad it is going to get.
Right now I have occasional trouble remembering where I put stuff, all kinds of stuff, including important paperwork.

Yes, driving a nice car is one of those things I get an enormous amount of pleasure from and my skills are still damn good and so are my reflexes.
I hope I don't lose any of that anytime soon.

Wow! My problems continue to appear. This one is odd. I just spent about 20 minutes trying to reply. Then I apparently hit the wrong key and it all went away. Have no idea what happened. I can remember a time when something like that might upset me a bit. Now, however, when something like that happens I just shrug it off as there is nothing else to do and I seem to have got to a place where more stuff is simply there and accepted because it IS.

First, if you don't have a digital voice recorder buy one, its cheap and helpful. If you say, hear, or read something of interest take out your recorder and say something about it. Then, even if you have forgotten what it was you will probably remember it when you hear what you recorded. The memory thing is very strange. You may think that you have forgotten something but, if somebody, or your recorder, has a good thought there is a very good chance you WILL REMEMBER! If your recording is not helpful, accept that, delete that, and move on with your life. Hell, sometimes I am doing something and try and remember six words to copy someplace else. I I wanted to remember "copy someplace else". If I haven't recorded the three words odds are I can't remember them. As soon as I hear the recording, however, I will usually remember everything. Just a thought.

I also find that all of us dealing with the VA are doing it differently. I have a single person (for get what they are called but I will, eventually remember, and its not important, I think its something like helper and provider but not sure). Anyway, up here the VA doesn't really have a lot of doctors and things so they will send me to the local hospital/medical place which is fine with me. Most of the time I go there for medical things because its easier for them to deal with my insurance rather than VA. In any case it really makes no difference. The thing that is bothersome is that the VA and the Port Angeles medical folks do not share anything with one another which, sometimes, makes a mess.

What I started, and then lost, is REALLY lost. I have no idea what I said. This is not a memory problem is the problem with sticking with something or remembering such. This is not memory so much as attention span. It took me a long time to understand that one. If I am talking to somebody about something, and somebody else walks up and asks a question or says something, whatever I was thinking about and saying has gone with the wind. That one is something to get used to. I am now, pretty much, not real upset when that happens because one can get used to anything once you discover what happened. I have been to shrinks and helpers now and then but none of them have ever mentioned this one. For a long time this one was something that would upset me. It took me a long time to figure out its a problem in that my brain no longer stores everything and when this happens it was never really there in the first place. I betcha, if you think on it, that its really not that unusual for some brains. I have however, if I think I am talking to somebody and its really important or interesting I try and move to a place where somebody is unlikely to interrupt. Interruption is interesting all on its own. When I think on it I really never had such a problem before the s*** hit the fan. There is a saying; "s*** happens". I started, a couple of years ago, REALLY believing in that one. Stuff happens, nobody is at fault, it just was and get over it.

There was some other stuff but this is it for now. Hope I haven't wasted anybody's time. Just trying to help and talking about this is helpful for me. I can't do it with my wife. If I start she wants terribly to help and has no idea what she is helping with. We get along fine and have been married for 60 some years but one has to be careful, otherwise ..........

She is taking a trip with a daughter next month for which I am grateful. I have been putting on weight and its time to lose some. My plan is simple and it works great but will not work with her here. I just stop eating. After 4 days I am no longer hungry. She will be gone for 3 weeks and that will do the job. I have talked to 3 different doctors about this one. Its REALLY strange. Each of the 3 told me they do exactly the same thing and one must take all vitamins and pills and, other than that, you should be fine. They also told me that I was to tell nobody because that might make trouble for them. Given what my wife thinks (she thinks I will die every time I do it which is rarely) I can only imagine what somebody would think of a doctor that would do such a foolish thing.

I bit of information. Does everybody know that to become a doctor takes about 800,000 dollars. Most of that is a federal loan. Every one of the 3 doctors are REALLY pissed off about those loans. There was a time when gov was charging a bigger charge for the loan than the banks! I had one, a woman heart doctor who was married to a Canadian doctor (he had no loan as Canada takes care of this). They have both moved to Canada and she plans not to pay the loan. They saved up 100,000 to pay on the loan and it didn't even cover the cost of the loan (cannot say the word that represents "the cost of the loan" <sigh>)

Sorry, really gonna stop now!!

There are more and more med folks giving advice. One of the main pieces is to do something like learning to play a musical instrument. That is something I went through when I was young. I remember how piano lessons drove me nuts. I have currently decided to take Spanish lessons from Dualingo (https://www.duolingo.com/) on the net. Its free and seems to help overall. The trick is to simply ignore and skip all offers to sign up for the paying portions if you just want to exercise memory stuff. Have no idea why or how and none of the med people dealing with this have suggested it but I think it helps me a bit. My wife is Spanish and she found out about this and, now, she gives me little simple tests now and then and, so far, I have answered correctly so, perhaps, I am actually almost learning Spanish. Oh, I started this Dualingo thing several years ago and have currently started again. Dualingo remember me and started me where I left off. The skipping the speaking thing was a really bad mistake. As you move on they start with the talking thing which is seriously fail. I can, however, actually read a Spanish newspaper and understand a bit of it. I find that, sometimes, I tend to do really dumb things for absolutely no reason I can figure out. Kinda keeps me on my toes just watching out for personal stupidities. ln the old days I would try and make excuses. I don't do that anymore. I just admit it and move on (s*** happens!).

I think that I might have not mentioned how important 'routine' is when dementia occurs. Setup routines for everything that you do regulary from brushing your teeth to anything else you can think of and do it as soon as you can. If you don't you WILL have problems!!

Please note, I can't remember if I have told anybody here about this one or not. My memory simply stinks. When, for instance, I am deciding what show to watch I have to ask my wife if we have seen it. Luckily, in my list of watched shows, most of those I have seen go away but sometimes..........

I just had a thought. I have noted that there are a LOT of ads for pills that absolutely solve the memory problem. My ongoing solution has been to call the va and ask them if they have a pill that would do that. So far, they don't have the pill. Every time I go in I also ask the question; "Do you have the pill yet?". If its somebody new they will ask what I am talking about. I reply; "The pill to take care of my bad memory". That always gets a smile and a great, big, huge, "NO!" I have been around long enough to see a number of things get solved and I also know that there is a LOT of studying going on of memory problems. That being the case I consider my question fair. So, anybody with memory problems, going to the VA or the doctor should always ask the question; "Do you have the pill yet?" if you get a yes be kind to the rest of us and you will be overwhelmed of thank you's, hand shakes, hugs, etc. In other words you will become the hero of the hour.

OH, my last trip to the VA was to have a picture of my brain taken. Therefore .............. (haven't been told yet what that's all about)

Just one more thought. If you say you got a 'no' and lied for a joke then beware. You will have a very good chance of being scorned, having a good chance of being hurt, maimed, yelled at, as well as the probability of being hit but a sledge hammer, etc. (I was temped to have longer list but something came up)

A lot of these so called memory pills are snake oil.
The efficacy and legitimacy of the claims are often suspect.

For instance, I think the one called "Neuriva" can only claim that it "is THOUGHT to help aid memory" but they cannot say outright that it actually does. The FTC can't take action against them because technically they did not say that it is tested and known to work.