Wonderful post, Martha.

It's amazing isn't it? The more people you truly get to know the less "different" they become. Your mother obviously didn't know very many wheelchair users. Obama's grandmother obviously didn't really know many black men. In each case the person they really knew they didn't see as being different.

I had a similar experience in Georgia when a supervisor, Joanne, use to rail on about a client who had a hearing loss. Once something was missing from the office, I can't remember what it was. Joanne said, "Well you know Mr. X was here yesterday. He probably took it."

I asked why she would think that and she said, "You know how those people are."

"What people?"

"Everyone knows he wears hearing aids."

"Right, but I am missing something here. He's a professional, he owns his own business, he's a client. Are you telling me he's dishonest because he wears hearing aids?"

"Haven't you seen those people handing out cards and begging for money?"

"You mean deaf people? He isn't deaf and most deaf people don't do that anyway. He certainly doesn't do that. You know I wear hearing aids."

"Yeah, but I don't mean you. You're not like them."

This kind of thing went on for a while. I mean I'd flat out confront her and she still didn't get. It was amazing.

One day I was having lunch with a friend who happened to be a black woman. We are very good friends. I was talking about Joanne and her idiocy and her inability to see what she was saying to me. I talked about having an emotion that I couldn't identify and being confused by it. My friend said, "Oh, how lucky you are. You are experiencing oppression."

It hit me like a brick! Oppression. It was an ugly, nasty thing.

"You said, I'm lucky".

"Yes, you really are. You are a white Southern male. Most white Southern males never have the opportunity to truly know what oppression feels like. Now you know. I wouldn't wish the feeling on anyone, but I am very pleased that you understand it. I know you will use this knowledge in a positive way. It is a gift."

A year or two later Joanne clued up. I have no idea why or what caused it but she realized that she had been terribly wrong. She apologized to me and her apology was very sincere. I thanked her for being my teacher. It was a difficult lesson for me to learn but, I said, I was grateful for the lesson.





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You, you and you, panic. The rest of you follow me.