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His soul has been tossed onto a roof where it can never be retrieved. Hopefully someone will toss that Mark Twain Award from the Kennedy Center onto an adjoining roof so he can at least have a look at it.
George we will miss you very much.
JeffH in Occupied TX (Christian, with a tiny bit of Frisbeetarianist tendencies)
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD deepfreezefilms.com
I don't know if Carlin was a genius, but he sure was funny and entertaining. When I heard that he died, I felt like I lost a friend and someone that I knew. He was human in the profoundest sense of the word.
George Carlin's New Rules For 2006
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a hugeass hole.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding,no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating myAlmond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
Stern has been mourning Carlin's passing, and so has his sidekick Artie Lange. They recently turned down George for an appearance saying that he's better as a performer than he is as an interview guest. Nevertheless Stern played an answering machine message that George left thanking them for saying nice things about his recent appearance on Bill Maher.
"The Best of the Leon Russell Festivals" DVD deepfreezefilms.com
We were fortunate enough to see George Carlin perform just a few months ago. He gave a fabulous show.
EmmaG
"I believe very deeply that compassion is the route not only for the evolution of the full human being, but for the very survival of the human race." —The Dalai Lama
Alert! Alert! Some people might find some bits offensive.
EmmaG
"I believe very deeply that compassion is the route not only for the evolution of the full human being, but for the very survival of the human race." —The Dalai Lama
Joe - those rules are actually from Bill Maher; web emails wrongly attributed them to Carlin.
This weekend I heard an extended interview with Carlin; the last question was "What would you like for your epitaph?"
Answer?
"He was just here a minute ago."
Mellowicious,
My bad. Sounded like Carlin to me. The following, to the best of my knowledge, is Carlin: "I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it " http://thinkexist.com/quotes/george_carlin/
