Capitol Hill Blue Forums Misc. Topics Ain't This America Gay in America: Living gay day-to-day

Last week, gays and lesbians won a major victory in their fight to legitimize their relationships, and as of 5:01 THURS AUG 19th, 2010, gays and lesbians can, once again, begin to marry in California.

Here it is a week later from that victory for California gays and lesbians, up in Canada where same-sex marriages are and have been sanctioned for quite some time now, a minor league baseball manager in Edmonton throws an anti-gay triad against a closeted gay umpire.

Conservatives in Minnesota are telling Target that they'll have a bulls-eye on their back if the corporate office bows to pressure from gays and Libruls regarding donating to MN Forward , a campaign group that got $150,000 from Target last month, who then used those monies to fund anti-gay political candidates.



Why can't the H8ers just leave gay people alone? Why are conservatives and bigots so fascinated with how gay people live their lives?

Every, single, day, I hear from someone, a derogatory remark against gay people.

...and now a black sport journalist publicly states that:


Why can't a black brother support me? I supported him for two days in a fight regarding the genesis of the 14th amendment. Truthfully, had I known of the stance of this sport's journalist three days ago - I wouldn't have been nearly as passionate about my position as I was.

Living gay day-to-day, certainly has its challenges - as if life isn't already difficult enough.

Senor Rick:

Not trying to stereotype here, or even man aural type, but from what I have read blacks seem to have a bigger problem with gays (male) than whites do. Is that true? And if so, do you have an idea or opinion as to why that may be.

Ken, the evidence is that it is not a matter of the color of one's skin but rather the involvement with religion and homophobic churches. In California, for example, it was earlier reported that the "black" vote tipped the balance. Deeper examination found it was simply a matter of religious views.

I certainly wouldn’t think that a specific ethnic group would be more genetically predisposed to have ill feelings towards another but I do think, aside from religion, there are cultural issues as well in play here.

I know within the black community, religion plays a major role in their culture.

Religion aside, what irks me is that this African-American gentleman finds that equating the gay struggle with the black struggle "uncomfortable."

I agree, the root of all of this is religion (big surprise, eh?). Many of the men of color I have known are not out - and in fact, don't feel a need to declare their sexuality. While religion seems to be hugely important to many in this Country, within the Latino and Black communities it seems even more so.

BUT (didn't expect that, didya?) I think there is something else going on here. Resentment.

I believe there is a lot of resentment toward gay people from some within these other communities, particularly among those that believe that homosexuality is CHOSEN. You can read it in this statement from Rick's sport link: "You can’t conceal skin color in a closet or anywhere else. Denying gay people the right to marry doesn’t equate to denying black people freedom, the right to vote, equal education, etc.". It is resentment over the fact that they can't hide who they are.

The misunderstanding or misconception here is that if you could spot a gay person, if we were born with little pink triangles on our foreheads, the discrimination towards us may have been equal or worse than what they suffered. One need only look at how the open hostility toward gays coincided with more people coming out and speaking out. It is the open, out, flamboyant homosexuals who can't or won't repress themselves that have always borne the brunt of abuse in our society.

Gay bars have traditionally been the site of bashings because there's a big old sign saying - "this is where they are, come and get 'em". Bars were our little pink triangles, particularly in rural areas (God's Country).

Gays do have a way to keep their identities secret. Ironically, there are some members of racial minorities who can 'pass' as white and there is resentment towards them as well. I hate to reference pop culture here but watch "Imitation of Life" (either the Claudette Colbert or Lana Turner version) for attitudes toward 'passing'. Even "A Gentleman's Agreement" with Gregory Peck explores this and may be a better example since he is attempting to pass as a Jew to write a first hand story on antisemitism. Since skin color isn't an issue, he only needs to change his name and tell people he's Jewish. Though it is the opposite, gay people can say they are straight in order to advance in a society that doesn't accept them.

Several years ago an acquaintance of mine made a documentary called "It's Elementary" where she and her partner traveled across the country and talked to kids who were in schools that had diversity education that included LGBT education. Each stop the kids they interviewed would be the next grade up (first, an elementary school in one state, a middle school in the next, etc). Most of the younger kids didn't care at all and even had friends who came from families with two mommies or two daddies (one of the best comments from a young boy almost became the title of the film, he simply said "What's the big whoop?").

The movie finishes up in a High School here in San Francisco. A gay man and lesbian came to talk to the class. They were both people of color. When they were done, the students had questions and comments. By and large the most common surprise from these multicultural high school students was "I thought all gay people were white". This from teenagers who live in San Francisco!

I do understand why more gays from minority backgrounds would conceal their homosexuality. If you are already part of a maligned minority, why would you paint another target on your back? It certainly doesn't advance our cause, but I do understand it. Add the whole "you're going to burn in hell" thing and you've just built a huge closet door.

Excellent post, Jeffro

Ditto. I'm glad that you're gay Jeffro!

Some religions do think that homosexuality is chosen, like what color shirt one will wear today. I know it is not. It is just a difference like green or blue eyes, or red hair. It just is. But then African-Americans had to suffer under the old saw that they weren't as bright, or fully human. So I would tell that African-American who is "uncomfortable" with Gayness, that some white folk wear "uncomfortable with interracial marriage, too. And not that long ago.

...and for you lurkers out there such as Nancy Video:

Homosexuality is genetic - it's not chosen - and there isn't one "gay" gene - it's more complicated than that!