Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues American Humor Miscellaneous humor thread

What's in the box?

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food.
She picked up four cans and took them to the checkout counter.
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat.

A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store.
They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food.
Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog.
A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog.
She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.

The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box
that would harm her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and quickly pulled it out.

She said to the little old lady,
"That smells like s***."
The little old lady said,
"It is.

I want to buy three rolls of toilet paper."

Don't mess with old people.

Have you ever wondered what the difference between grannies and grandads is?

A 5 year old granddaughter is usually taken to school daily by her grandfather.

One day when he had a bad cold, his wife took the grandchild.

That night she told her parents that the ride to school with granny was very different!

"What made it different?" asked her parents.

She replied, "Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind bastard, dickhead, Asian prick, or wanker anywhere on the way to school today!"

She probably navigated to school on the wrong route using the old Tate's Patented Compass, invented and patented by my late uncle Tate Remington. It was beautiful to look at, but never pointed north. Within the family we knew that "he who has a Tate's is lost."