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Dec 6th, 2017
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,388
old hand
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old hand
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I always thought there was something fishy about those uptown dudes. 
"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce
"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky
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Joined: Aug 2005
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Aug 2005
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"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."
Lenny Bruce
"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."
Dostoevsky
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
enthusiast
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OP
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Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
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OP
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Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
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OP
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Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
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Joined: Mar 2012
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After Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my hearing impaired friend.
He was busy painting his penis with a black marker.
I said to him, "You idiot! You're supposed to turn your CLOCK back!"
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace ALL the wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach the stupid lamp.
Rottweiler: Make Me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh Me, me me, PLEEEEEEEEZE let me change the light bulb. Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I, PLEEEEEEEEZE, PLEASE PLEASE?
German Shepard: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell: I'll just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo Quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there--RIGHT THERE
Greyhound: It isn't moving, who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear, and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Terrier: Let me bark at it for a while to see if it really needs changing.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862 Likes: 1 |
Last edited by Golem; 11/10/12 03:29 AM.
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