Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues American Humor Miscellaneous humor thread

Which guy? (You have to spell it out for some people...)

The woman from Trader Joe's should have nothing to do with this guy: Everybody knows a real gentleman would have either "not noticed" that fart or apologized himself to the lady.

And what's with "near perfect body"? You DON'T EVER say that to a woman unless you are trying to insult her! I once asked a young waitress if the giant ice cream bowl was "bigger than your head" and she asked: "Is there something wrong with my head?" and broke into tears. I had to assure her that I meant "anybody's head", and that her's was perfectly lovely.

I think installing one of those aircraft landing lights would have been a better response. Just hook it up to an incoming light sensor and a day/night sensor, so anytime the neighbor turns on his flood light he can't see a thing down his driveway because of the blinding landing light.

No need to trespass, send emails, or even talk to the neighbor who will soon discover that every time he turns on his floodlight his driveway and front yard become uninhabitable.

Texts From Last Night

(803):

My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

(1-803):

Did you win?

Have you ever noticed that the Family Guy writers will take a 5 second bit and keep playing it for an entire minute? Like when Peter trips and falls on the sidewalk: He keeps rubbing his knee and saying "Ow" for about a minute.

The fart duet is another of these. It was funny for the first verse. Not so funny for the second. The third is just boring, and the fourth is the writer's assault on the viewers (because THEY think that's funny).

Remember when South Park ripped on Family Guy?

Part 1

Part 2