Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues American Humor Miscellaneous humor thread

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Trump is very inspirational, art wise.

I read today that Trump now occupies the top four spots on the "Worst President" list. Apparently the change was intended to adjust the scale to more accurately assess Trump's status.

Where’s the link?

I read it as I was writing it...

Also I really did hear today, it's not a "Murder" of crows unless someone can prove it.

It's all about intent!
Tat

I started to write something along these lines to amuse myself, when I found this:

PLACES I’VE NEVER BEEN
I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and co-workers.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I thought I was in Vincible but it turns out I wasn’t.

People keep telling me I’m in Denial but I’m positive I’ve never been there before!

I’m hoping to avoid Continence…

And more and more I think of the Hereafter — several times a day, in fact. I enter a room and think “What am I here after?”