I understand the position Obama is in. But, he put himself there, didn't he? And he put himself there with full knowledge of everything else he was going to have to fix before he even strapped on the tool belt. It's not like the economy, our standing in the world, the healthcare system and the war(s) were big secrets that were revealed after he got the keys to the house. He even said that he did not support same sex marriage, so no bone was thrown in that direction, he was savvy enough not to put himself in that fight, but he did speak out against DOMA and DADT.
They say that timing is everything and perhaps this was not the right time for all of this civil rights stuff, but the speed in which this has progressed surprised even me. I am still scratching my head over Iowa. I have waited, patiently, for the majority of my life for something as simple as equality and to be treated as a full citizen of the country of my birth. I celebrated every minor victory, but always with a touch of cynicism and with the proviso that "the time just isn't right for something radical". The gay community has worked tirelessly for equality and it has always come in fits and starts but, any minor move in that direction was always met with elation. If all the challenges we have faced were placed end to end, the longest stretches would consist of heartbreaking defeats.
Through it all, we have been one of the most patient and understanding groups out there. We can hope that when someone calls us faggots and dykes while beating us to a pulp that the perpetrators will be severely punished, and they will - in some states. We can adopt children - in some states but not in others, we can keep our jobs and homes - in some states but not in others. We can form some kind of legal unions - in some states but not in others. We can visit our seriously ill partners - in some states but not in others. We accepted this. This was the way it should be, since we are not normal.
The biggest struggles have not been fought in courts, the biggest battles have been, and are still being, fought in public. The absolute hatred and vicious attacks, both verbal and physical, happen every single day in our lives, and sometimes we are so filled with self-loathing that we participate in making ourselves less than human.
In all of this, we have generally been good little gays, still celebrating the little victories and quietly bemoaning the crushing defeats. Getting back up and trying again next time. The acceptance of same sex marriage in some states accelerated everything. The passage of Prop 8 in California was one defeat too many for some of us. We got angry. It was the last straw for some of us. The anger was not some typical gay community reaction to defeat. We did not shrug our shoulders and say "oh well, maybe next time". Prop 8 was an assault and it happened the same night we were celebrating a President that led us to believe that things would be different now.
Those who say the time is not right are not paying attention. The gay community is more outspoken now than anytime since the AIDS crisis. We are being attacked more now for being mean to the religious who worked tirelessly and lied blatantly to make us all just go away. I have read way too many comments from people who do not understand any of it. That, if we are to expect tolerance then we need to practice tolerance. We are being told by people who have never been called a faggot, that we are hateful. We are being told "you lost, give it up".
During Pride weekend, here in San Francisco, vandals set fire to the big pink triangle on display on Twin Peaks. That's never happened before.
The idea that we should quietly wait may have, at one time, been more palatable to us older gays who are used to hearing it, but the younger gays are not going to accept inequality. Times are changing and changing rapidly. There is no good time for this fight. I know, I've been waiting for "the right time" for at least 30 years. My mere existence has been blamed for the failure of some politician's careers because they had the temerity to acknowledged reality and tried to make things right and failed. They failed Not because what they were trying to do was wrong, but because the people who were wrong had louder voices and more clout.
My advice for anyone who thinks we need to wait and be patient, is to take 30 years of your lives and wait for the right time to be seen as equal in the Country of your birth. It's not so bad, every time they throw you a crumb, you can have a fabulous party!
In the meantime, you might want to keep in mind that, telling an historically maligned minority that the time is not "ripe" for their rights, might come off as just a little bit patronizing.
