A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the
congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a
rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation
decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding
salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the
pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more
it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his
chair and spoke,

"Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady
struggled to stand,
and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God,
but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen."

Gotta love those senior citizens!

Life is a banquet -- and most poor suckers are starving to death -- Auntie Mame
You are born naked and everything else is drag - RuPaul