Capitol Hill Blue Forums Life and Moral Issues American Humor Miscellaneous humor thread

Kind of a funny story, though it still makes me wince...

It came to mind because we sold our house five years ago and carried a contract with a five year balloon payoff and the buyers are doing a refi with Quicken Loans right now. We are to the point of "the handoff", QL needs to give us the money and we need to give them a signed off deed. But since this is all happening remotely, there is no face-to-face scenario of deed in one hand, check in the other. It's an awkward handoff...

That brought back a memory from long ago in North Idaho (that's how it's said up there, like northern Idaho is a separate state). I had traded a 1970 Chevy Suburban (former Forest Service rig) for a 1970 Chevy C30 flatbed truck - I had valued the Suburban at $500 and thought the C30 was worth more than that - at least $800, so a good trade.

I parked the truck at a friend's saddle shop right on Highway 2, so it had excellent exposure, but a month went by with no calls. I decided to take it home and do a bit of cosmetic work to make it more appealing. After work one evening I got a ride into town (it was winter so dark out and a little foggy) and got the truck and started home with it. Just as I turned north on Hwy 57 a guy in a big old beater car herded me off into a gas station parking lot. We both got out, he with only a left arm and fairly drunk, and he asked how much for the truck? "$1200", I said. "I need to drive it", he said. Being fairly young and not overly cautious, we got in with him behind the wheel. It was a little hair-raising, and kind of remarkable watching a drunk guy with just a left arm driving a 1-ton truck with a stick shift.

After driving up the road about a half mile and back again, he said he'd take it, but would only pay $1500. I hesitated, not out of strategic coolness but of of being rather disoriented by the whole experience, and then said, "Okay, I'll take $1500". He yelled at his skanky momma to get the money out of the glovebox, which she did and brought it over. He counted out fifteen $100 dollar bills and handed them to me - but didn't let go - so there we stood in the middle of a frozen handoff as he said, "I need the title". Well, I didn't have the title with me as I hadn't thought I would be selling the truck that evening. I said it was at home and I lived 10 miles out of town, so I could be back in 40 minutes. He said okay, meet him at King's Bar (probably the biggest dive bar in the area).

Pedal to the metal in the diesel Volkswagen Rabbit over a stretch of potholey county roads and back to the bar in 30 minutes, well-shaken, not stirred. I went into Kings Bar (I had never been in it before) and looked around for the one-armed man, but he wasn't there. After waiting around for half an hour, I decided it was all a cruel joke - got back in the truck and drove home. The next day my saddle-maker friend called and said a one-armed guy was just in, mad as hell that I never showed up at the bar. But that was it - I never ran across the guy again.

Awkward handoffs...