Forever is a gift we’re forever giving away.
Leslie Jordan is one of those character actors who appear usually type cast. We know their faces but seldom their names and never their life stories. Mr. Jordan won an Emmy in 2006 for a role in the series “Will and Grace.”
Leslie Jordan’s “My Trip Down the Pink Carpet” has a beginning, middle, and an end. That sounds trite but Mr. Jordan’s beginning was growing up in Chattanooga, Tennessee as he relates “…the gayest man I know. I fell right out of the womb and landed smack dab in my mother’s high heels. With all due disrespect to the Christian Right, ain’t none of that “choice” s*** here! But I was so riddled with internal homophobia, so consumed with doubt, shame, and self-hatred that I felt the need to try and pull it off. My devout Southern Baptist upbringing had left me with beliefs that were indelible, at least at that time in my life.” Page 5.
“I am a high school cheerleader stuck in an old man’s body. …My mother was a majorette in high school (aren’t they all in Tennessee?) I pulled out her baton ….’Daddy, daddy! Watch me twirl!’
‘Oh son, why don’t you twirl that little baton in the house?
‘But I’ll break something!’
‘Son, I’ll pay for whatever you break! Just please twirl in the house.’
I sometimes feel like I was born ashamed.” Parts of pages 9-11.
Mr. Jordan tried living in Atlanta for a time so that he could live the gay life style. Then he moved to Los Angeles with exactly $1200 to his name. The middle of the book recounts his adventures as a working actor; with in his words the emphasis on the word ‘working.’ Ah, I think he said “Show business, with the emphasis on the word ‘business.” Page 68
He said, “I am Southern to the bone. It’s what I am.” Still he was told to lose his Southern Accent. “The hilarious thing was that back then I thought I had actually lost my accent.” (I understand completely Mr. Jordan.) Mr. Jordan said that his speech has a dead giveaway to the fact that he is gay; the dreaded sibilant ‘s.’
On Mr. Jordan traveled down his pink carpet. His stories at least for me caused great bed shakes when I laughed. His telling of his impression of John Holmes’ porno films is priceless and worth right there the cost of the book. Page 40.
Page 201 tells of his working days, “No high-priced hookers for this old whoremonger. I sat in Hunter’s regularly for years, perched on a bar stool with a cocktail in one hand and my ATM card in the other. ….His accountant said when Mr. Jordan was working, there’s not a boy on the boulevard that does not have on brand-new tennis shoes.”
He speaks of a bar called Oilcan Harry’s and a real cowboy, “with a belt buckle you could serve a turkey on”…. This was a long lasting relationship for our hero. Page 208.
“He was so dumb, he thought Farm Aid….was Willie Nelson’s contribution to the fight against aids…….’You don’t think about farmers getting AIDS…and Willie is there for ‘em.’
“Please don’t ever tell anybody what you just told me.” Mr. Jordan to his cowboy, Page 211.
He dealt with his demons through drugs and drink. He recounts that he “even stooped to …….some……., but what can I say? I was born without a gag reflex and I’m pretty good at it…..Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? Page 60.
The last portion of the book deals with Mr. Jordan coming to grips with the demons of alcohol and drugs. He joined AA and he says that for the first time he told the truth.
“I had always thought heterosexual men were fearless and shameless. I learned from the group that heterosexual men are more fear-and-shame ridden than any gay man I have every met. …One of the men in the group suggested I carry a card he gave me. It read: WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.” Page 179.
“I have wrestled with the Devil for half of my life. I have been baptized fourteen times!...Of those that are gay and try to hide it he says, “Most straight men ….do not seek out other men on the Internet for sex. And if they do, they certainly don’t continue the relationship……His God made him that way. If he wants to consider it his cross to bear, then so be it. …Let him squeeze his eyes shut….while he makes love to his poor wife. But he will be a homosexual till the day he dies. There is nothing sadder than a man at war with his own nature. Page 237.
He praises Tammy Faye Bakker. She said, “I am so angry ‘at’ (sic) the Christian church…..Jesus taught us not to judge. …..You will not find anywhere in the teachings of Jesus the mention of homosexuality.” Page 239. “Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell, and spirituality is for people who have already been there.” Page 243.
“I am not as interested in the separation of church and state as I am in the separation of church and hate.” Page 243.
“The soul has no gender. ….We are on earth for one reason and one reason only. And that is to give quality love on a daily basis.” Page 251.
“I think the most important spiritual axiom of the last millennia is: s*** happens!......Really bad things happen to really good people and really good things happen to really bad people…..I love the idea of having a God that does not do anything for me or to me but only shines through me. I love the idea of a God that does not write books. He wrote several best sellers – why did He stop? …Did he get writer’s block?...and which of the books He wrote all those thousands of years ago …He counts as His Truth?” The Bible? The Torah? The Koran? And don’t even get me started on the Book of Mormon?” Page 253
“I don’t have to leave logic and reason at the door to have faith……It really is about the journey.” Page 254
As I wrote Mr. Leslie Jordan, I found great wisdom in this little book about a gay man’s adventures. I imagine this book will have a small following of those who want a peek at the gay life of Hollywood. It is so much more.
Respectfully,
Kathy Albers
